The Sting
by Laitas
Summary: Rin hated Haruka. And it was all Haruka's fault. These were the facts that Haruka kept with him.
1. The Sting

The Sting

Rin hated Haruka.

And it was all Haruka's fault.

These were the facts that Haruka kept with him. It was what first popped into his head whenever Rin came up. Such negative thoughts bothered Haruka, so he tried to avoid the subject all together. But sometimes, in the dead of night, memories of Rin wriggled through Haruka's mind leaving him unable to concentrate on sleep. And all that was left in Haruka's thoughts were the memories of the upset and broken look that he caused to appear on Rin's face. And how all good feelings Rin had towards Haruka went away.

As Haruka got older, he tried to move on. When Rin flowed into his mind, he'd think about what Makoto might say to him.

"_It's not your fault Haru. I mean, how could it be?"_

_Something like that? _Haruka thought._ No, it probably be even more mushy_. It was times like that, when Haruka thought about telling Makoto about Rin's and Haruka's secret race but he didn't want to give Makoto another reason to worry about him. _He's overbearing enough as it _Haruka thought turning on his bed.

Haruka was able to sleep more as the years went by, but then the night of Rin's return brought him right back to where he was before. The day Haruka ruined everything he had with Rin.

"I want you to show me that sight again. I've forgotten what it is I saw" Haruka smirked. To be honest, he could have cared less about racing Rin. And to be truly honest, Haruka didn't even know where he was going with this.

"Sure, I can do that. But it won't be the same this time" Rin said with equal confidence. "I'll be showing you something completely different."

"Take your marks" Makoto said as the two stood on the starting blocks.

As Haruka took his mark, he tried to concentrate on the water he was about to dive into. But all that was in his mind were memories of Rin again. But this time, it wasn't the sad, heartbreaking memories Haruka normally thought of, it was the good memories. Of them in sixth grade together, running to swim practice with Makoto and Nagisa. It was the annoyed but playful look on Rin's face when Haruka called him Rinrin. And it was the last time Haruka saw Rin at the relay and how it was Rin's stupid idea that made it all possible. Rin made Haruka set aside his personal feelings about swimming. Rin gave him a sight he had never seen before.

Haruka wanted that Rin back.

"Go"

So when Haruka dove off the board, he knew what he had to do.

"You won Rin" Haruka quietly said mentioning the obvious. _Will this really bring the old Rin back?_ Haruka thought. But when Rin grabbed Haruka by the goggles around his neck forcing Haruka to look right in to Rin's eyes.

They say that eyes are the gateway to the soul. And looking in, Haruka was convinced he'd wouldn't get the old Rin back. At least, not this way.

_Oh great. Now he hates me more_ Haruka thought. For a short moment, Haruka thought about telling Rin why he threw the race but _I bet he wouldn't even care _Haruka thought. So Haruka just let Rin walk away again. Needless to say, it was a long and sleepless night for Haruka.

Time moved on again. And now everyone knew about how Haruka beat Rin when he came back from Australia winters ago. Rei was also an official member of the Iwatobi Swim Team. Even though Haruka was so reluctant to returning to competitive swimming, everything was a great, big, sometimes messy distraction but he was swimming. And that's all that really mattered.

Right?

In the years that Haruka knew Rin, he could remember four distinguishable feelings. An almost-not-annoyed feeling he felt during the time up until Rin announced his move to Australia. Which was the closest Haruka had ever felt to furious. The next would be amazed during and after the relay. It was easily the happiest Haruka had ever felt. Of course he'd never admit to it out loud. And the last, guilt.

So when it was decided the Iwatobi and Samezuka would have a joint practice Haruka really wanted to look forward to being in the water but Rin was going to be there. And Haruka knew where his money was on which of the four feelings he'd be at.

When they arrived, Haruka forced himself to concentrate completely on the water. And once he was in, luckily it was easy. It wasn't until Rei's near-drowning fiasco that forced Haruka's head over to Rin. Haruka wasn't sure why he did it because he knew nothing good could from it. And unfortunately the feeling was worse than Haruka could have even imagined.

Rin had stopped paying attention to Rei and gone back to talking some kid next to him, the kid looked like a first year. He was smiling Rin who wasn't quite smiling back but it seemed about as close as the current Rin was giving out these days. Still, it reminded him of how Rin use to smile at Haruka.

Whoever this kid was, Haruka already didn't like him. The kid didn't look fast at all, so why was Rin even associating himself with him. And the more Haruka concentrated on the kid, the less special he became. _I mean, even his hair cut is laughable _Haruka thought, loosing all focus on swimming.

"Is something wrong Haru?" Makoto asked taking a break from his set.

It was times these, Haruka wished Makoto wasn't so observant. He didn't feel like explaining himself and just shrugged. Haruka figured Makoto had already read his mind and just decided to let him talk.

"Hmm" Makoto started looking in the direction Haruka was faced towards before. "I think I overheard that person over there is Rin's roommate. Nitori is his name, I think".

Makoto was all to good at reading Haruka's mind. Haruka just nodded back in response. Just before Haruka went back to swimming Makoto asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am" Haruka lied, doubtful Makoto even believed him, but he usually got the signs to back off when Haruka didn't want to talk about something.

"Okay" Makoto responded. _Yep, definitely not convinced _Haruka thought continuing his free set.

For the rest of practice, the water wasn't doing what Haruka needed it to. Instead of emptying his mind, occasionally, thoughts of Rin and that Nitori kid would come out of nowhere and made Haruka force himself to go faster and fall out of sync with the water. But why did it even bother him to much?

Right when practice ended, Haruka had never gotten out of the water so compliantly before. He was sure Makoto had a look of concern on his face. But Haruka didn't care about that. He was trying to get a final glimpse of the reason why he couldn't get along with the water today. And there it was, in all it's glory. Rin exchanged a few words and another slight smile with Nitori and went ahead to the locker room. Haruka wasn't sure what he expected but now all he could think about was getting the hell out of this school.

So Haruka picked up all his belongings and started walking towards the exit in just his bathing suit.

"Ah, Haru-chan!" Haruka ignored Nagisa shouting behind him. "Where are you going?"

_At least it wasn't Makoto. He's a little harder to ignore._

By the time Haruka made it outside the pool, there wasn't anymore shouting. Haruka's best guess was that Makoto told Nagisa some cookie-cutter thing like _"Haru just needs to be along right now"_.

Once Haruka was outside, he put his shoes back on and started run home. Haruka didn't want to think about anything or anyone especially not _those_ two. But all that was left was this feeling in his chest. He didn't know what it was, he'd never felt it before, at least never with Rin. The last time Haruka had ever felt this way was in his first year of high school.

* * *

There was an assignment that required the students to work in pairs to put on a presentation about the historical time period each group was assigned. Not being able to work alone was bad enough for Haruka but the absolute worse part was that the pairings were random. So, of course he wasn't able to work with Makoto.

Haruka played his part in the partnership with some random he definitely couldn't remember the name of and the project turned out fine. But through the whole process, Makoto seemed to always be busy working with his project partner, a girl named Aki. And don't get confused, the only reason Haruka had remembered her name was because Aki use to belong to the Iwatobi Swim Club in elementary school too.

Not only that, but Makoto seemed to have to no time to even casually hangout with Haruka. He was starting to doubt that they were actually getting work done if it was taking them so long to finish. _He knows all I basically do is sit all alone in this house all day _Haruka thought. _So why is he doing this to me._ But Haruka was aware of how selfish it would be if he expressed his feelings. He didn't want to give Makoto a reason to hate him too.

It wasn't until the rumor started about Aki having a crush on Makoto did Haruka take action. And action was a very strong word for what Haruka did.

One night, Haruka decided that he should just tell Makoto how he felt even if he hated him, maybe, just maybe he'd understand and put off dating Aki for max, like, six months so he could get use to the idea of being completely alone.

"Haru? What a nice surprise." Makoto said when he picked up the phone. "Wait, this isn't an emergency or anything?"

"No, everything's fine" Haruka said making sure to relieve any anxiety Makoto had. He wasn't exactly lying. Haruka was at least physically fine.

"Okay, good. Then what's up"

Haruka thought for a moment of how to phrase his thoughts. Although he had went over the conversation several times in is head, all of that dialog had suddenly disappeared. And all that came out was "Do you like Aki?". Of which, Haruka knew was a very stupid question but he had the confidence that Makoto knew where Haruka was going with this.

"Like have a crush on her?" Makoto asked to clarify.

"Yeah"

"No, I don't" Makoto said. "Sorry, I probably made it seem like there was maybe something between us with us working on the project all the time. But I promise you we're just project partners" he explained.

"Okay" Haruka said keeping up the one word responses.

"Ah, I probably should have started with this but we just finished today too. I'm really sorry about this whole thing taking up so much time"

It really annoyed Haruka how apologetic Makoto got about stuff that wasn't even his fault. He wanted to yell at him to stop but Haruka just decided to let Makoto indulge. Plus this was the longest conversation with just Makoto in a few weeks. Most of their talking consisted of Makoto asking a general "How is going?" or "What's up" and Haruka giving the most general one word responses that he could.

"We had to start all over at one point and well, just a bunch of other really tedious stuff. But if you want to I can come over now and we can do a sleepover?"

"Sure"

"I'll be over in about thirty minutes" Makoto said.

"And Haru" Makoto paused just in case Haruka decided to give another one word response. He didn't though. "You don't ever have to worry that I'm replacing you or anything like that".

Was that what he was worried about? Haruka thought.

"Your my first priority. Okay?"

_What a stupid statement _ Haruka thought. Makoto always talked like the present was going to last forever and always forgot about the future and what it holds. Like girlfriends, a wife, kids and there was certainly no room for Haruka to be Makoto's "first priority".

"If you say so" Haruka responded.

* * *

For the first time, Haruka's worst nightmare was coming true. The old Rin might still exist but it would never be with Haruka. He stopped running for a moment to look up at the sky. Why Haruka did this, he didn't even know. But there was something he knew for sure. Haruka knew why he was so annoyed at Nitori.

Haruka was being replaced and there was nothing he could do about it.

Because Rin hated Haruka.

And it was all Haruka's fault.

* * *

**AN: This story was intended to be a one shot for the Free! Kink Meme but depending on the response to this, I might write some more b/c I have some more ideas but we'll see. And just in case you're interested, I wrote all this listening to The Neighbourhood and the title is actually the name of one of their songs (the exact songs actually $ting but whatever). You should definitely check them out, especially if you need some darker or sad sounding songs to listen to while you write.**


	2. You Have Become a Fraction of the Sun

You Have Become a Fraction of the Sun

It was warm.

All of it.

Memories of Haru made Rin very warm. Not in a cutesy and cozy manner like a nice spring day. No, it was in an uncomfortable, like a cold drink stuck in the sun too long kind of way. But Rin couldn't help himself to go through his memories as he rode next to a window on the plane taking him back to his childhood home of Japan. Rin couldn't really focus his thoughts, sometimes he'd think about how finally, this would be the chance to lay his frustrations about Haru beating him all those years ago to rest. Then, he'd think about how his mother and sister would probably wanted to see him, but Rin was planning on trying to put that off as far as possible. Not really because he didn't want to see them, it was being swarmed by questions in need of answers that kept Rin away. Plus, he'd seen them during every holiday break, so they could wait a little longer couldn't they?

But those thoughts didn't last too long. It was back to Haru and the stupid warm thoughts he was having. Sometimes Rin didn't understand why he couldn't let this go. Even in the midst of his defeat in Australia, it was Haru that always stood out. Maybe it was because Haru was so apathetic about everything.

_But that one time...Wait, don't think about that_ Rin thought.

He promised himself that this would be it. Rin would race Haru, he'd win, naturally, regain confidence in fulfilling his father's dream, and all these thoughts would just go away.

Right?

When Rin touched the edge the pool and looked up to see that for the first time, he'd beaten Haru in the 100m free, for the first time, in a long time, he felt elated.

_Now I never have to think of this stupid kid ever again! _Rin thought turning to gloat to Haru.

But then Rin saw the look on Haru's face. It wasn't the look of someone who had just lost to a race to his rival. Haru looked almost glad.

"You won Rin"

And that set him over the edge as he grabbed Haru by the goggles around his neck and stared into eyes of blue that seemed to scream some form of pity. Rin had known then that Haru had thrown the race. But why? Was Rin just such a pathetic person he couldn't even be taken seriously by the only person he'd considered an equal?

Rin couldn't even get a word in before the security guard found them out.

After finally getting the motivation he needed to join the swim team, Rin found his nights filled with warm angry thoughts about Haru and that somehow he'd make Haru see it his way. He'd make Haru face him for real so that Rin could finally let go of these petty thoughts and finally focus on his Olympic dreams. But he wasn't quite sure how he'd get a guy like Haru to even get on board with that.

When it was announced that Samezuka and Iwatobi would have a joint practice, it slightly worried Rin that he wouldn't be able to focus on his own training with Haru possible showing him up. But luckily he kept himself occupied. And even when that stupid glasses kid almost drowned, Rin was able to keep his cool around Haru and whenever he even thought about Haru, he'd just start up some light conversation with Nitori and quickly got Haru off his mind.

* * *

"Rin?"

"Haru!?" Rin said back looking as confused as the other as they emerged from the dressing room of a swim shop.

Haru looked like he instantly regretted noticing Rin as he turned his head looking like he was about to take off for the exit.

"Wait Haru" Rin said grabbing Haru's wrist before he could walk out. "We need to talk".

Outside of the store, Rin tried to get Haru's full attention by staring intently at him but Haru just seemed to avoid all eye contact with Rin. So Rin pounded his palms on each side of Haru, boxing him in. Haru jumped slightly and for a short moment looked into to Rin's eyes only to break contact again. Memories suddenly flowed back to Rin's mind of when they kids. Stupid, annoying warm thoughts.

_Now is not the time to be thinking of these things._

"You won didn't you?" Haru said quietly. "What more do you want?"

Rin clicked his tongue. What more did he want? Wasn't it obvious?

"I want to race. A real race, one where you don't throw it"

Haru paused for a moment and finally turned his eyes toward Rin.

"I'm not going to swim for you Rin" He said sternly.

Rin felt his body rising in temperature.

"Well, I need you to swim for me". Rin lowered his voice "Or else I won't be able to move on" Rin said looking away.

"Fine". That was when Haru grabbed Rin's arm and pushed him away. "But if you lose, don't cry and don't say you're going to quit"

Rin smirked to Haru's agreement. "I'm not a little kid anymore Haru. This time I'm going to show you how different you and I really are." And with that Rin walked away. The conversation really made him look forward to training that night. There was no way Rin was going to let himself lose to Haru. Because he needed this, not just for himself, but for the sake of his father's dream.

* * *

"Are you excited for tomorrow Matsuoka-senpai?" Nitori asked referring to the tournament.

Rin sat down in his bed to put on his shoes. "I guess" Rin answered, saying the first thing that came to his mind. Tomorrow was the day he'd been look forward to for years now. But was he really excited? It didn't really matter though. Rin didn't need to be excited to understand what he need to do tomorrow.

"I'm going out for a run" Rin told Nitori before leaving the room.

It would have been pitch dark outside if it wasn't for the street lamps surrounding the school pathways. Rin rather liked his night runs. He could just let his mind wander on whatever. Unfortunately, his mind wandered on to Haru. To Rin, it would have been fine if it was just Haru in general that was floating around in his mind. In someways it could be a type of motivator but, it was one memory that keep coming to mind. It was after the relay, and that was the first time Rin-.

_Nope, not going to think about that. Think of something else._ _Anything else._ Rin thought.

_Why am I so fixated on this one stupid memory. It doesn't even make any sense._

Rin wouldn't have been surprised if Haru didn't even acknowledge his single most important memory of him. And all of this made Rin very warm.

* * *

A/N: Look who's back! So, the reason I took such a long time to update was because I wanted to completely finish writing the story before I started to put out chapters again because I tend to never post on time but since I have it all written it should be coming out every week. There are going to be three more chapters coming out so look forward to that. So I hope you enjoyed and thanks so much for supporting this series so far!


	3. I Was Alive (Part 1)

I Was Alive When You Were Right Here By My Side Part 1

Haruka closed his eyes as he sunk deeper in the tub. He was trying to think of everything and anything to keep to Rin off his mind. But right now, it was just too fresh. His conclusions were all too new. Haruka knew that any chance of a relationship with Rin was dead. All that Rin saw in Haruka was a twisted nuisance form of a rival.

Then, Haruka heard ringing outside of the doors of the bathroom. It was his cellphone. Haruka tried to ignore the ringing but after the fourth time it went through its cycle, it forced him to get out of the bath and try to find his rarely used cellphone. As his search begin, Haruka wondered who it was that insisted on calling him over and over again. The most logical guess was either his parents or Makoto, but seeing as his parents rarely called him and that Makoto had seen Haruka practical run out of Samezuka, it had to be Makoto.

Finally, Haruka located in cellphone that was hiding in between two couch cushions.

"Hey" Haruka said picking up the phone.

"Haru, thank god" Makoto said sounding relieved. "I just wondered if you wanted me to come over or something. There's this movie that I think you might like. I could bring it over"

Makoto always reminded Haruka that he was so stupid for worrying so much about Rin. Compared to Makoto and everyone else on the swim team for that matter, he shouldn't even bother trying to have a relationship with Rin again. It was just too much effort with no chance of reward. And it was then that Haruka decided he'd tried to forget Rin. Because if Rin didn't need Haruka, Haruka certainly didn't need Rin.

"Okay" Haruka answered.

From that moment, Haruka became a little happier, thoughts of Rin started to fade away a little bit, and he was able to sleep a little bit more. Of course, it would have been all to easy if things stayed that way.

As Rin walked away from practically attacking outside of the swim shop. Haruka kept his cool as best as possible, but as soon as Rin was out of sight, Haruka slinked down to the ground. He could feel his body shaking.

_I did good standing up for myself right?_ Haruka thought.

But what did this mean for Haruka? If he swam for Rin, once it was over, whatever Haruka meant to Rin now would disappear. And no matter how much Haruka lied to himself that he was over Rin, he wanted to mean something to him. Haruka wanted to be more than just Rin's rival but how could he get him to understand.

It was finally the night before the tournament. For the first time, in a long time, Haruka was nervous about something. Even big tests or presentations never bothered him because he knew that if prepared enough, there would be no problems. But racing was inherently different because so much as a late start could lose you the race.

The next morning, as Haruka and Makoto walked location of the tournament, Haruka played out many situations in his head. If Rin won, it'd be pretty obvious how things would go. Haruka only lightly dabbled in the idea of Rin winning. He didn't want to make himself depressed before the race had even begun.

So Haruka went on to thinking about if he won against Rin. Chances were, they would be right back to where they started. Still, Haruka tried to think of a positive end to this tournament but couldn't think of anything plausible. Haruka sighed and he noticed Makoto looking over with slight concern.

"Everything okay?" Makoto asked Haruka casually. He just nodded and hoped that would satisfy Makoto. Whether or not Haruka was really okay or not, but up for debate.

But there was no question how Haruka felt after the race.

* * *

Floating on his back, Haruka's heart sunk deeper. He tried to close his eyes and tried to escape Rin's face but that just made things worse. All Haruka wanted was to swim with Rin again. He just couldn't understand why the universe wouldn't grant his one stupid request. But instead it fought him, tore his emotions apart, and screamed at Haruka to stay away from Rin.

But worst of all, the memory that was making rounds in his mind was on that didn't even make sense. It was when they were kid's and they had just finished burying the trophy after the relay.

* * *

"Hey Haru" Rin said getting his attention.

Haruka normally wouldn't put up with an annoying situation like this but Rin was leaving tomorrow so Haruka decided to act nice.

"What is it Rin, didn't we already have group goodbyes?"

Rin looked away and scratched his head. "Well, I was hoping you'd swim with me one more time" he asked. "Not like a race or anything, just normal a swim"

Haruka shrugged his shoulders, there was no reason to deny a request involving swimming and it looked like Rin had a lot to say so hopefully, Haruka wouldn't have to do much.

Sliding back into the cool water, the lane lines were still up seeing as the tournament ended not even a half hour ago. But before Haruka could fully submerge himself, Rin cannonballed into the water, getting Haruka's mostly dry face soaking wet.

Yep, Haruka was definitely okay with Rin leaving.

After pulling himself under the water, Haruka let his thoughts go and just let the water due what it does best. Then when Haruka raised his head for a breath he found himself face to face with Rin. Haruka didn't normally get embarrassed, but he could feel the heat from his face rise a little when he realized the situation he was in.

"What? Are you trying to ask me something Haru?" Rin asked not sounding embarrassed in the least. "Or are you finally going to confess how much you're going to be miss me when I move to Australia"

Haruka quickly looked away. "Of course not". He tried his best to hide the sudden emotions Haruka happened upon. "Why do you want to swim with me in the first place?"

"Hm, well I guess out of everyone, I consider to be closest to you"

That almost made Haruka choke on air. Why did it have to be Haruka? Compared to Makoto's and Nagisa's kindness, Haruka was practically a bully. Haruka must have been making a face because Rin started laughing. Which made Haruka react by splashing Rin's face with water and started an epic water fight between the two boys.

Eventually it just ended in laughs from the both of them but Haruka still kind of felt the whole thing was kind of stupid. Swimming back, Rin looked like he was going to say something but in some impossible way slipped started falling pretty close to Haruka. It was too late by the time Haruka found out just how close Rin was. The feeling of lips against his own was finally able to register that he was kissing Rin.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read this chapter! I really appreciate all the support you guys give me, it means a lot! And sorry this is a few days late, I promise, I had this all typed up on Sunday ready to go but as I was editing I realized that it wasn't as well written as I wanted it to be so I had to take these last two days and re-write some parts to try to give you guys the best story possible. So hopefully that won't happen next week, fingers crossed!


	4. I Was Alive (Part 2)

I Was Alive When You Were Right Here By My Side Part 2

Rin was kissing Haru and before Rin could even tell what was happening, Haru had shoved Rin off of him.

_What just happened? _Rin thought.

After he finally gathering his thoughts, Rin quickly turned away from embarrassment. He wasn't really sure what to say but Rin was pretty sure that they were each others first kiss. The two boys must have stayed quiet for around a minute and now things were getting awkward.

_I need to say something _Rin thought still not making eye contact. _Anything! _

"Look, I'm sorry Haru-" Rin turned around to see Haru but was surprised to seem him more affected by the accident than Rin expected. Haru was looking away and had a slight blush on his face that made Rin's heart skip a beat. Haru had never been this emotionally present unless water was directly involved. In some ways it was, they were in a pool but Rin was pretty sure that Haru's reaction didn't have much to do with that.

Most of this flew past Rin's mind because now all he was thinking was that he wanted to kiss Haru again and maybe Haru wanted to kiss him too. Looking around to make sure no one was there, Rin asked

"Hey Haru, I know that I wasn't your first choice in first kiss but" Rin glanced up and saw Haru who seemed to be looking away at something like he trying to avoid all thoughts of what was happening.

"Since it's too late, do you want to try for a better one?" As the words came out of Rin's mouth the excuse sounded more and more lame and Rin was certain that there was no way Haru would say-

"Okay" Haru was now looking straight at Rin who was still had a hint of pink on his cheeks.

"Really?" Rin responded in totally surprise.

Haru's eyebrows furrowed a bit and he looked like he was about to come back with a snippy comment.

"No, I mean, I didn't think you'd say yes. I'm just really happy is all"

Haru started looking away again but Rin placed his hand on Haru's cheek tenderly with his gaze back to Rin's own. Going in, right before Rin closed his eyes, he could see Haru's perfect blue eyes practically sparkling.

Lightly, Rin pressed his lips against Haru's for the second time. But this time Rin was able to feel Haru's warmth against him. He found the experience surprisingly nice, seeing as he was kissing a boy and it was Haru at that.

As they separated, Haru only lightly pushed Rin away. Rin couldn't keep from staring at Haru who was now looking away again.

"Hey, you kids need to get out of the the pool" Rin heard.

It was probably one of the parents but Rin didn't get the chance to see.

"Okay" Rin responded getting out of the pool.

Haru looked a little annoyed but he got out of the pool pretty quickly too. After changing quietly, Rin thoughts felt sped-up and jumbled. He was super happy about kissing Haru and was pretty sure Haru must have being feeling at least a fraction of the same. Rin was also feeling like he needed to say something to Haru but what and why was keeping him from doing so. Rin was leaving, tomorrow and trying to decide what this all meant would be too complicated and messy. Plus, it didn't help that Haru wasn't much of a talker.

As the two left the swim club, about to say their goodbyes. Rin was thinking of keeping it short and sweet, thanking Haru for everything, saying bye and that would be it. But before Rin could talk, Haru handed him a piece of paper.

"What's this?" Rin asked looking at the writing. It was an address.

"I know you'll be busy in Australia, but if you find the time, you could write me or whatever"

Rin couldn't keep himself from smiling when Haru said this. Grabbing a scrap piece of paper from his bag, Rin wrote down the address of his future school.

"You, know, if you want to write me too"

Haru nodded, still looking kind of embarrassed. Rin was pretty sure Haru wouldn't be the first to write, and it'd probably have to be Rin writing to Haru to get Haru to write anything at all. But this was fine because it was just the way that Haru was. After this exchange, the two just waved goodbye and that was it.

Rin was actually on his way to Australia. His dreams were finally coming true. But his didn't stop him from crying a little. Rin was going to miss everyone so much.

"Rin!" he heard behind him. Haru was shouting uncharacteristically. "Good luck in Australia"

And this caused Rin to immediately turn around and run back to Haru.

"Could was kiss again?"

Haru went all wide-eyed again. "What? No!"

"Aw, really?" Rin slouched a bit. _He was okay with kissing me before._

Haru sighed. "When and if you ever come back, I'll let you kiss me okay?" Haru started to pick up the fact that Rin had a bit of a smirk on his face. "Wait what?"

"You really are going to miss me Haru"

"I-what-no-. Just go Rin"

"I'll definitely come back Haru. I promise"

Haru looked away. "Do whatever you want"

Finally, Rin and Haru parted ways for real this time.

* * *

Now, Rin found himself in Australia. His first school day wasn't the best. No one in any of his classes really talked to him, but Rin figured that it'd all work itself out eventually.

And then it was time for his first day of swim practice. Rin was super excited but soon realized that these people who he was swimming with were much fast than Rin. So, he tried pushing himself more on the practice sets but in his efforts of trying to keep up, Rin found himself exhausted only after the warm-up.

At the end of the practice, Rin felt more tired than he'd been in a long time. Rin was now even debating going on the nightly run he'd planned to do after this. Instead, Rin decided to go back to his room to rest for a bit. Lost in his own thoughts, Rin knew that he needed to get stronger if he was ever going to succeed. So he started making plans of taking up extra practice time and figuring out the best times to go running.

A few weeks after following his plans, Rin started to see results little by little. He wasn't where he wanted to be but the improvement made Rin a little less worried. Looking through some of his drawers for a pen, Rin came across a small piece of paper he had forgot about.

"Haru" Rin said quietly. He had been so busy over these last few weeks with school and extra practices, he had completely forgotten about this. So he broke out a piece of paper and started to write. The letter consisted of just generalization of what was going on. He left out the details of the struggles he'd been having and just replaced it by saying it was a new sort of challenge he had to live up to. Rin started to write that he missed Haru a lot but decided that was too sappy and kept it out.

After sending the letter, Rin wasn't really expecting anything from Haru seeing as he mostly never did something like this unless he had to.

Rin continued his loaded training regimen and his times kept improving. He was even making friends with his classmates now. Even Rin's grades were pretty good seeing as he didn't have much time for actual school stuff.

About a week later, Rin received a letter from Haru. Quickly ripping it open, Rin scanned the letter smiling all the way. He decided that he'd read in more carefully when he got to his room but wanted to at least know the gist of the letter now. It was unsurprisingly reserved. Haru wrote mostly about facts like how he joined the middle school swim team with Makoto and nothing really about his feelings on them. Rin then thought maybe if he was more emotionally in his letters it might force Haru to be a little bit more emotionally too.

But this didn't matter to Rin too much because he was having one of the best weeks in his life and top it all off he had his first tournament tonight. Everything seemed to be looking in Rin's favor and the letter in his hand boasted his confidence even more. Their was no way he was going to lose!

Well, Rin was almost right.

Swimming into the wall, out of breath, Rin looked up to see his time. He had gotten fifth place overall in the 100 meter free which meant that he just made it to the next round. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but Rin was only in his first year so it was still pretty impressive.

That night, before Rin decided to write Haru back, he came up with an even more intense training plan for the next three weeks to make sure that he'd make to nationals. It looked really difficult, but Rin knew it would be worth it. Still riding from the high, Rin quickly wrote his letter to Haru about the events that happened that week. And this time, Rin thought _Why not_ and added the sappy line he left out before. Because it was true, everything in his life seemed to be going so well and all that Rin felt was missing was Haru.

The letter exchange kept going back and fourth between Rin and Haru. They we're filled with pretty normal stuff of what happened in their week's but Rin couldn't keep his heart from skipping a beat when he received the next letter.

Now it was a week before the second round of tournaments. He had Haru's letter in his hand and had decided to wait until he was in his room this time before opening it.

His training wasn't exactly going as well as Rin had hoped. His times, instead of getting better, were getting a little worse. Rin's coach explained that it was probably a mix of nerves and overworking and told him to lay off the extra practices.

Of course, Rin realized he still needed to improve, even if he was improving at the rate he was before, there would be no way that he'd place. So Rin was pretty sure that was why he was so nervous. He hoped that when the moment came, adrenaline would take over and make him fast enough to get to nationals.

But for some reason, Rin felt like whatever was in this letter was going to determine the outcome for tomorrow. It made Rin really nervous.

Now opening the letter, Rin realized that it was much thicker than the letters Haru had sent Rin before. Trying to understand why Haru had so much to say, Rin figured out that they were three different letters. One from Haru, of course, and two from Nagisa and Makoto. They were all letters of encouragement for next week. Haru explained in his letter that he wasn't very good at cheering people on so he asked Nagisa and Makoto to write letters too. Reading through all three letters, Rin tried to keep himself from crying but failed. He was touched that not only Haru would do this but that his friends would do this for him. He quickly wrote letters of thanks to all them that he decided to send in the morning.

These letters were enough motivation for Rin. He had to make it to nationals, no matter what. Now this wasn't just for his dad, but his friends expected to win too.

* * *

"Hey Rin, you need to line up now. Your heat's up soon"

Rin nodded looking up from his friends letters. "Yeah, okay" Rin said packing the letters away before putting his swim cap on. His heart was beat faster and faster still as the heats kept going on. Rin tried to think of something else for a while because he knew if he was too nervous on the block he might have a false start.

But now it was time for Rin to race.

"Take your marks!"

Rin snapped his goggles quickly before bending over to grab the edge of the diving block.

And then the buzzer went off.

* * *

"You did your best", "There's always next tournament", and other variations was what Rin heard after the race.

He hadn't placed. He wasn't even close. And to top it all off, his time was one of his worst for the season. It didn't make sense.

It didn't matter if there was next year or if he did his best because he wasn't doing this just for himself. There were people who believed in him and Rin let them down.

_All of this work only to end up just where I started_ Rin thought holding back tears at least until he got to his room. What was the point of Rin swimming if he couldn't even improve his times. And that was when started to convince himself that he'd never reach his dreams.

Rin started to distance himself from his beloved sport and found himself unmotivated to even go to practices. It even started to affect his motivation to do school work and he never really felt in the mood to talk to his friends during school.

After his under the weather week, Rin received another letter from Haru. This time, instead of his heart skipping a beat like normal, he felt his chest tightening and just did not want to have to face this letter. It was like facing Haru, Nagisa, and Makoto only to show them he'd failed at the only thing he thought was good at. Everything just felt so tipsy-tervy and wrong.

So Rin stayed away from Haru's letter for a few days instead of writing him back right a way like Rin normally did. And in those few days, Rin tried to think about how or why he wasn't able to swim as well as he needed to. It couldn't have been nerves because Rin had felt fine when he was racing before.

Then Rin had a short stupid thought in his head.

_His friends from Iwatobi _

"No it couldn't be" Rin whispered to himself going against his own thought. It couldn't have been his friends that kept him from winning the race. If anything, they helped him stay motivated. But a little voice inside Rin's head told him differently. It told him that his friends put to many expectations on Rin and that's why he lost.

Rin tried to block out these negative thoughts by trying to reason that...well that was problem. Rin didn't have a reason to not think this was true. He was already lost in of a haze of his broken dream that was now replaced by the blame he put on his friends.

But now, how could Rin overcome this?

_What was the one thing you could never overcome?_ Rin thought. The answer was looking right in front of him this whole time. Rin picked up the letter, opened it and read it.

It was just the basic normal Haru stuff and at the end asked how Rin did in the race.

_It was Haru. _If Rin could beat Haru just once, this could mean that Rin would be back on track to achieving his dream?

Instead of answering Haru's question, Rin wrote Haru back saying he'd probably in town for the holidays. It was still a few weeks off but the thing was Rin was pretty sure this would be the last letter he'd write back to Haru for a while. At least until he made up his mind about his current theories. But Rin was pretty sure he already had.

Now back a swim practice, Rin was giving a bit of scolding for missing so many practices but it didn't matter now because all he needed to focus on was training for his and Haru's up coming race. Rin decided that he didn't need to put this in the letter to Haru because Rin knew that Haru was already training at the swim practices at his own school. Plus, he didn't want Haru to know why Rin needed this race.

Deep down, Rin still wanted to be Haru's friend, and even deeper down, even if Rin didn't realize it at the time, he wanted to mean more to Haru. This was still true even when Rin pushed the new letter from Haru in a drawer.

* * *

Rin was now back in his hometown. It had been a few days since he'd arrived but wasn't really up to seeing Haru just yet. And to be honest, he wasn't quite sure why. But in Rin's good luck, he found himself during a walk and in the distance saw a familiar face. He couldn't make eye contact and but he could feel his chest tightening.

"Rin?" Haru's eyes opened he got close enough.

"Hey" Rin said quietly still looking away. He could feel the blood in his cheeks rising and wished that these feelings could just go away.

"How's Australia?" Haru asked simply

"It's okay" Rin answered just as simply. "Say Haru, we should race"

Haru looked a little confused. "Um, okay?"

So the two started to head for the swim club. Haru looked up for a moment like he was going to say something but never did. Rin wondered what was going on in Haru's mind, but he was pretty sure that it was filled with questions that Haru wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answers to. And to be honest, Rin wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answers either.

At the swim club, their old swim coach stood behind the two boys taking their marks. Rin knew what he needed to do.

_If I can't even do this, there's no point in continuing this dream _Rin thought.

But now Rin was running out of the pool, eyes filled with tears. He had failed his friends, himself and most importantly his father. Rin felt like death would feel better than this.

Then he felt a hand grab Rin's wrist. Now looking back at Haru there was a look of desperation in those blue eyes he'd never see before. And this is Rin when realized something, he was attached to Haru. That's why Rin waited every week for the new letter from Haru.

Once again, the voice talked to Rin. These attachments were what kept him from reaching his goal until these connections were gone.

"I'm quitting swimming" Rin shouted at Haru before finally running off.

* * *

Now five years later, even after beating Haru, Rin just didn't understand. He gripped the metal fencing outside of his old elementary school pool. Looking back at his stupid middle school feelings it was so obvious. He was in love with Haru. But what did that mean now. Was Rin still in love with Haru despite being separated from him all these years?

And what able Haru's feeling for Rin? He couldn't possibly feel the same way about Rin especially now. Pushing his hand through his hair, only had one this running in the back of his mind. Rin needed to swim with Haru again. Whatever it took, he needed to get into that relay.

* * *

A/N: Sup guys? Again, thanks your support and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. So I decided that eventually I'll make a separate fanfiction for the letters the boys wrote to each other so be on the look out for the that in the future. Also sorry this took so long, again, the editing just took forever (and I'm sure that they're are still some mistakes in there). Fingers crossed that next week doesn't kill me so I can put out the next and final chapter!


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